u/Few-Technology6388

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10 years ago I received an email from my ex wife saying that she had moved to Texas and taken my 6 year old daughter with her. I lost my mind. We were separated. I plpwas all in as a dad. Some would say obsessed. I loved every part of being a dad. I wanted her every day. I picked her up from school, took her to practices, everything a dad does. 3 nights a week and every other weekend was never gonna be enough for me. My mom also picked her up when I couldnt. I knew they were going to Texas during Christmas break to visit her more mature and much older boyfriend. And when they didnt come home the weekend before school went back in session I sent a WTF text about her not being back and I didn't want her to miss school. Thats when I received the devastating email that they were not coming back. They went there to live not visit. She got married. Shocking news to me obvously because I didnt know we were officially divorced. I missed the custody hearing because I didnt even know there was one. When my ex wife had a friend pretend to serve me the Divorce papers and forged my signature. So I missed the hearing and she was awarded full custody. I got an attorney but the damage had already done. She asked where my papers were and I said I had never gotten anything. Told me to go to court immediately and I got the papers that I was never served. Said i was s served at a time and location thar I was 100% not at. My attorney told me it would almost impossible to prove i was never served and convinced me to just go for joint legal custody. Keep things civil with mom so she doesn't make things worse. It would be nearly impossible for me to make them move back after she had already started school immediately. I would get Christmas and Easter break, a few weeks in the Summer and i could visit he in Texas whenever I wanted. Terrible. My new role would have to be fun dad. Vacations, sports, concerts, etc. In the first 3 years I flew out there 20+ times and drove 3 times. Looking back im upset i didnt get a second oppinion from another lawyer. My ex wife knew i was poor and couldnt afforrd an attorney. She was right, i had to get a loan and went broke. My life was a mess. I couldn't afford to travel that much. I ended up finally moving there and lived there for 3 years. This whole time my daughter's love for me was never the same. She never wanted to stay with me on my days. It hurt so bad. She just didn't love me like she used to. Im sure she didn't hear the best things about me from her other family. I was poor and now she was living in this amazing house with her new sisters, acres, and animals. When she started HS I had to move back to California to help my mom. She played Water Polo and I flew out there every weekend because I refuse to miss anything she does. The other parents would joke that I made it to more games than her mom did. I worked 15 hour days and Spent a small inheritance i had gotten to pull it off. I eventuality ran out of money and as of this last year, started to miss some things becauese it became impossible. I promised my baby I would never miss anything and now im a POS liar and she is sad. I let her down and it kills me. Now shes gone 2 months without talking to me. Won't even respond to a goodnight I love you. Out of all rock bottoms this is #1. Shes 16 now. Long long story short, should I tell her the truth about everything or wait till shes older? Im losing my mind. TL:Dr