Does your BPD get in the way of showing up for loved ones?
Hey, my sister (20F) has been diagnosed with bpd- which has been very clarifying relieving for her and the family. It felt like she is finally getting the help she needs after years of wondering what’s wrong.
We have been trying to be there the best we can, this is hard for us so we know it must be impossible for her and give her as much reassurance, grace and love we can.
However I’ve noticed a pattern- whenever it’s not her pain in focus but someone else in the family; my brothers best friend going missing, our loved one in a hospital, someone dying in the family. It becomes about her. For example; our auntie died and I was super close to her and told her I need space I can’t drive with you right now on the way back from the hospital- I was aggitated. Then I didn’t see her to grieve for 2 days. She left me. Same with my brothers cousin going missing- it became about how everyone ignored her pain since she was mad at our brother prior to that event.
I feel bad and have nothing but empathy for her. But whenever I communicate to her that I want to understand why and more it’s like I’m saying “ur evil”
Is it hard for anyone else with bpd to support a loved one in crisis when you’re upset at them?
ADVICE WELCOME