21F and 21M tg for 9 months and I’m getting annoyed
I have to get this off my chest because I’ve been incredibly angry at everything lately; at him, myself, my life.
I love him, I do. His behavior towards me is perfect he’s caring , respectful, sweet, he compliments me, posts me, sends flowers, he’s supportive. We used to get along way better, things were more fun and I just remember laughing all the time back when we first met. We’ve been long distance, we’ve seen each other seven times since making it official, for context.
But recently I haven’t been able to shake off the feeling that he’s just not enough in other areas and that’s making me feel very guilty and angry. I’m a medical student, I’m constantly studying, taking exams, being in the hospital doing (sorry if this sounds pretentious) important things, I’m constantly under a lot of pressure.
And him? He’s not studying right now he works at a fast food place and he can’t seem to do anything on his own. He needs help from his mom or me for fucking EVERYTHING. Booking plane tickets, government documents, school documents , booking hotels even buying concert tickets is like a foreign language to him.
Under all the stress I feel at school and at the hospital I just need someone I can heavily rely on, who’s independent and doesn’t need me to hold his hand and explain everything like I’m his mom.
It’s been brewing for months and this all exploded inside me for the dumbest reason ever. We were playing videogames right, as we do, and game after game after game of losing I realize he’s the problem and it just pissed me off that even at something so dumb like videogames he’s bad and he can’t even do that right.
It also doesn’t help that , as I said, things used to be more fun, I was at least able to relax but not anymore, he doesn’t call like he used to or chase after me like he used to and with everything else I just do not have the time nor energy to wonder if he still likes me or not , I want someone who shows it, who texts me a lot and calls me like he used to do.
Maybe deep down he also knows this or maybe he stopped liking me as much but this whole situation is making me anxious and angry at everyone and I know everyone is gonna say “you’re incompatible just break up” but I can’t. I can’t break up with him over this , he’s a good man, he treats me well and I know for a fact he isn’t gonna break up with me either even if he should’ve. I feel a pit in my stomach I hate this feeling
Sorry for the long post I’m very frustrated and stressed and there’s a lot going on in my life right now. No excuse to be as evil as I am being towards him right now by thinking this but yeah