My brother announced his engagement at my husband's funeral reception
I (34F) lost my husband two months ago. He was 38. Cancer. It was fast and brutal, and I'm still learning how to breathe without him. Our families have been supportive — or so I thought.
Last weekend, my family hosted a small memorial gathering at my parents' house. It wasn't a funeral. Just a quiet afternoon for close friends and family to share memories, look at photos, and be together. I was barely holding it together, but I was grateful.
My younger brother "Jake" (29M) and his girlfriend "Chloe" (27F) showed up late. They walked in holding hands and smiling. I thought maybe they were just trying to keep things light. I was wrong.
After about an hour, Jake stood up, clinked his glass, and announced he had "wonderful news." Before anyone could react, he got down on one knee right there in the middle of the living room — in front of my husband's photo, in front of my mother-in-law who was crying, in front of everyone — and proposed to Chloe. She screamed yes. People clapped. Some looked confused. I just sat there frozen.
My parents congratulated them. My mom hugged Chloe and said, "We needed some joy in this house." My dad patted Jake on the back and called him "a brave man."
I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I walked out, went to the backyard, and cried until I threw up. My best friend came after me and drove me home.
Later that night, I texted Jake and told him that what he did was deeply inappropriate. He replied, and I quote: "You're not the only one who gets to have big moments, you know. We've been waiting too. And I thought you'd want something happy to focus on."
When I told my mom, she said, "He didn't mean any harm. Don't let your grief make you bitter. He's your brother."
I haven't spoken to him since. My husband's family is furious. My side of the family thinks I'm overreacting and that I should "let it go because he already apologized" (he didn't — he doubled down).
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. How do I even look at him again? Am I being unreasonable for wanting him to understand just how much he hurt me?
The person I would've vented to about this is gone. And I feel so alone.