Help I’m spiraling
My husband has ptsd and TBI’s from Iraq. His mom is about to die on top of this month being a very big trigger for him. I know this time is hard. I try not to make things harder for him. I go to therapy to try to not trigger him more. He got the news about his mother today and came home mad at me. I have no idea why. I asked him and he said he wasn’t going to talk about it. He told me he was going to be with his mom alone and I was not going. I asked him to please not do this and he said he wasn’t doing this now. He packed and left. My problem is he has done this before. He gets mad and he stews on it and gets madder at me. He told me a few years ago he didn’t love me the same and told our kids we were getting a divorce. He let me come back with stipulations that I change. He tells me often he needs peace and he can’t handle my drama. I try very hard to change thus the therapy. My therapist knows his issues and Everything that’s going on and still pushed me to talk to him yesterday. She told me to tell him in a calm way that I feel like he’s distant and that I feel like I annoy him. I got nervous to talk to him and messed the whole thing up. I was shuddering and not getting anything out the way I wanted it. I feel like this may be what made him mad. I’m also spiraling because i feel like he will leave me again and I can’t take that. The thought causes actual chest pain. Help me…. I don’t know how to help him. or apologize. I think I should just wait until he gets home but like I said I’m spiraling thinking about what he will say. I am also very aware I am not the center of the world. I know he has a lot going on. I don’t know why he’s mad at me. I am just a mess.