Gosh I’m so embarrassedddd I’m gonna be honest I’m pretty avoidant so for me to even talk to a guy for a month is kind of a lot for me but I’m pretty sure it’s over.
He lives like 40 minutes away from me which isn’t bad and we’ve hung out twice. First time we did hw (bc finals soon) and watched a movie before I went home, then as I was going home he was like how he missed me, how he’s sniffing his shirt bc I smelt so good, and then at like 11 (I’m home already) he was like how he was gonna get me an uber to come back, I declined bc I had class the next day. But I told him I would come back after my class, everything was dandy the next day and we’re talking and whatever throughout the day. I get back to his dorm around like 7:30? And we cuddle, I have my first kiss, then first makeout, then we watch another movie, he gives me clothes to sleep in bc the trains have already stopped running, we stay up until 2 just talking and kissing and cuddling. We both woke up at 5 am and started making out again 😭 then we went back to sleep. He held me the whole night and I don’t even like physical touch tbh. Anyway we woke up like at 10 and talked and watched TikTok and then I went home at 12. We kissed bye. While we were talking all night he said he loved me, I just laughed it off and then he was also talking about some future (where we would live, how many kids, honeymoon, blah blah blah) I’m not stupid so I didn’t take it seriously but it still hurts
Ok everything is cool that day, the next day I tell him I miss him and whatever. I’m also going back home to another state (it only adds an hour of distance which we both talked about and said wasn’t bad) we also said how we both didn’t want casual and wanted something real. Anyway he’s just been distant and weird, I feel like I’m the one chasing now and I have enough self respect to not do that. I asked him if he wanted to see me before I went back home and he was like “I suppose so” and then I was like nvm you’re not enthusiastic enough (joking btw) we joke like that all the time but he just said okay and that was that. He’s just been dry. He got drunk with his friends last night and our last text was me telling him goodnight at like 9 pm. It’s 1 now and I know he’s been active on insta and TikTok 😭😭
We’re both in college though so whatever I’ll get over it