Trying to be feminine
Hi! Just want to ask where do I start trying to be feminine? Is it from the clothes that I wear? Make-up? The manner in which I speak?
Grade school, I hated the color pink just to be "different". In high school, I refused to wear make-up just to be different yet again. In Uni, I started hating on girls who would spend hours in the bathroom, retouching their EB lip tint and baby powder as foundation. Absolutely, hated them.
Turns out, I was just jealous of these women, who were able to do this freely. I love my dad but I grew up with him almost always making fun of women who were well put together, and sometimes he would make fun of my mom too but my mom persists and does whatever she wants. After all, she buys all of her makeup, shoes and clothes; nothing bought by him.
I started telling myself, I can't wear make up or be picky with clothes because -
- I commute - and well, jeepney is hella hot and my make up would melt
- I'm too lazy to retouch
- I cant wear heels maybe because I might ride a motorcycle and the heel might break
All of these reasons just to soothe myself.
So, now, I wanna give myself a chance as somebody who doesnt dress well, just pants and a shirt. No make up. I've tried every makeup tutorial and it wont work because I have hooded eyes, two-toned lips, and I'm morena af and so annoying to find a shade in this hot weather.
So, if anyone could help me where to start, it would be much appreciated.