So I don't normally post on reddit but I have come to the point where I feel so lost and I don't know how to move forward. I (F29), was dumped by my (M34) boyfriend of 7 years 6 weeks ago. At first, I was ok. His mental health was struggling and I think I put my own emotions aside while he started therapy etc in the hopes we would try work on this. Never happened, it just solidified the breakup.
We live together, still.... he has no where else to go for the moment. He is looking and after 7 years It didn't feel right kicking him out while he was going through stuff.
Fast forward to the last week, everything came crashing down. I am so lost, crying all the time, struggling in work. He is still living here but viewing rooms etc so I know he will leave. The no contact isn't an option right now. He has changed, more energy, mentally better, like the old him but out drinking until all hours which was never him and he has already met someone else. I stupidly asked about it and he said nah its not serious and yet he is with her most days for hours and constantly hiding his phone when we are both in the house. before anyone jumps on the cheating train, that was not it. It feels like a kick in the teeth how quickly that has happened.
So now I am sitting here. While he is out being his old best self that I missed so much and it is causing me to spiral. Doing the things I wanted to do together with others. Hikes, after work drives and coffees, the odd drinks in bar we once liked. And me? I got a promotion in work I can't focus on, I have no will to do anything self care like I once did. I shower, go to work, come home, cry, sleep. I have no escape right now. I am drowning.
Sorry if this post is a mess and not easy to read. I just needed to get this all out.