Ive made a huge mistake. Please help
I posted on here last year. I was super angry and lost. I got made fun of and I deserved that.
Now a year later in losing my mind. Im a father. My son is going to be 6 and ive never met him. Ive had every opportunity to. I said he wasnt mine and posted it on facebook. My girlfriend at the time demanded a partenity test. When it came back he was mine she didnt stick around much longer. I didnt really process it until now. Its been 5 years since the patentiy test. His adoptive parents texted me for 3 years until I changed my number.
Ive wasted 6 years sitting in my room smoking, and gaming. Ive had jobs occasionally but never anything where I could move out of my moms. Mostly been unemployed. Shed always convince me to quit my jobs and say they didnt value me as an employee. Im so stupid. Im 26 now and ive never left home. Never had a real job. Ive attempted to start businesses but they always fail. Every girl ive dated has ended things because they didnt like my mom or they hated that I didnt have a job.
I messaged my ex after the paternity test and told her no one would ever want her because she gave a baby up for adoption. I told her she was an idiot for going to visit him and keeping up with him because he wasnt reslly hers.
Now shes married, graduated college, has another baby with her husband. Her husband posted a picture of MY SON holding THEIR SON. im honestly sick right now. I shouldnt have listened to my mom. I should have made my ex keep our son. I should have at least kept in contact with the parents. I dont even know if I can now. Ive had every opportunity to be there and I havent. Just like my own dad. My ex was the only person who ever pushed me. All the other females just left. I feel so stupid for believing my mom when she said she could tell he wasnt mine because of how fat my ex was. I showed her a picture after he was born. She said she was sure he wasnt mine. HE IS MINE. what do I do?! Can I even go see my son? Hes 6. Its too late.