Need Ideas and Help: Bonding
First post! Long time silent follower… I want to preface this with: I know my problem that I need help with may seem silly but I promise I would not come here if I felt like that…
Married, mom of 2. 9 year old boy and 2.5yr old girl. Dad/husband is super hands on, lacks a bit of patience but extremely present and prides himself in family. My two kids are night and day when comparing them as babies/toddlers: my oldest was easy going with any and everyone, attached to us but not “overly” attached. Of course, later diagnosed with adhd so maybe a key factor in personality differences. Anyways, my young one is completely attached to me where it’s stimulation overload. She cant stand being without me as soon as she’s aware I’m within vicinity to her. Let’s say I wanna go to the store or a girls night, me leaving is fine. She hardly ever gives me issues. And when she’s alone with dad and brother, she’s fine; calm & cool as a cucumber. As soon as I’m back, she slowly starts the whining and tantrums… also, if I’m home and so is her dad, she completely disregards him. Wants nothing to do with him. She follows me around the house. Bangs on the door and sometimes cries when I’m in the bathroom. Reaches for me when he picks her up. Doesn’t listen to him. I mean the list goes on, you’d think she never met this man in her life if you didn’t know he was their dad. I love my daughter, but I am not used to a kid this needy for me. I love our bond but a lot of days I want to be able to just exist with my husband and her not default every command to me.
Any moms out there can suggest ways to grow their bond or trust? What is the secret? He’s not negligent or mean, and most definitely not abusive. He wants her to be more affectionate with him like how our son was but she could really care less… I want to be able to parent her together, it almost feels like she thinks I’m her only parent. HELP 🥲🥲🥲🥲