u/FieryLipstick

I love how we play together. Play meaning sex yes, but play as in the wonderful way we get there. I've never known a man like you. Deeply careful and guarded - but I know its because of how much of a caring devoted father you are.

Things are complicated. Our out loud reckless love blew up in our faces two years ago. But I want to say that spending this year with you, rekindling, rebuilding, sparking the fire, letting it consume us in a way that doesnt destroy us again has been the best time of my life.

When I ask you if your hair is messy, and you say "its always messy" I wish you could see my hands actually trembling of how bad I want to run my fingers through your gorgeous hair. When you yawn and I call you sleepy bear you say "I'm always sleepy" all I picture is your rest, laying with you and just sharing a life that doesnt demand so much from us both anymore.

That mole on your left cheek is a killer you know that? That means God actually left you a beauty mark because youre more than handsome- you're just so beautiful.

I wish for your rest. I wish for your happiness. I wish it didn't have to be this hard and we could just live our teenage dream like Katy Perry was singing about.

You're my Mexican Riker. My Conqusitador Prince. The English man with the Latin background. God, you're more than the man of my dreams, you're my first crush, my first real true love, my impossible peace.

Just want to say my bull is getting more and more cute in his impossible ways. He absolutely let's me make a huge fuss over him in ways that other signs I've dated would have told me to "grow up."

I'm sorry, my childhood sucked, so if I want to tell a 50 year old bull that he is the cutest boy in school and I want to put stickers all over his locker, I absolutely will. Lol.

Besides, I'm looking at the big 4-6 in about a month and it just makes me feel like hiding in my Trapper Keeper.

You know, I always thought it was your perfect Riker beard that made me swoon, but in recent months, God it's been that hair of yours.

When I ask you if your hair is messy today, you say a quiet "a little bit" or "its always messy." I think for me, since knowing you and being with you, my biggest fantasy hasn't just been the amazing sex, but rest. God, just rest with you. Rest with you laying on me, my hands and nails in your hair, your eyes heavy and so sleepy, like the sleepy bear you are.

You just turned 50. I am going to turn 46 next month, and honestly baby, I'm just tired. Tired of this frantic world, this hectic life, the pile of demands on us that just gets heavier and heavier.

So tonight, come to me. Come to me you beautiful, sleepy-eyed burdened man and rest on me. Let me put you to sleep with all the words I don't have the courage to say in person because of what life has done to us over the years.

Tonight, I'm just completely, and utterly yours.

Tonight, you are my impossible peace.