u/FilmsyStep79

I have heard that they take two mid sem and that too within short span of timr

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This might sound irrational, but I genuinely don’t know how to untangle this feeling anymore.

There’s a girl I was classmates with from 6th–8th grade. We lost contact during COVID, and I never had feelings for her back then. But over the last 3–4 years, I started seeing her every Navratri at a temple I’ve gone to since childhood—a place I have deep emotional faith in. Without realizing it, I developed a massive crush but was always too scared to approach her.

Recently, a cancelled college trip brought me home for Navratri. I saw her again, and my brain started treating every coincidence as a cosmic sign. Looking back, my life’s absolute "peak" (confidence, academics, happiness) perfectly aligned with when she first entered my life in 6th grade. When we lost touch in 11th and 12th, my life started falling apart. Subconsciously, I associated my success and happiness with her presence.

This time, after some awkward eye contact and noticing her seemingly avoiding my usual temple timing, I panicked. I found her Instagram and respectfully messaged her, saying I wanted to get to know her. She rejected me very politely, handled it maturely, and agreed we could still be friends.

Even so, I feel completely shattered.

To make things worse, she keeps hiding and unhiding her Instagram stories from me, which is messing with my head. Now I’m overthinking: Did I make her uncomfortable? Is my favorite, safest place (the temple) going to be awkward now?

Logically, I know it makes no sense to tie my downfall or success to her entering or leaving my life. But emotionally, I just can’t separate coincidence, faith, nostalgia, and attachment anymore.

I have a lot going through my mind right now and just really needed a place to vent. Lately, I've been feeling incredibly alone and like I'm falling way behind my generation.

It seems like everyone around me is living their best life, but their version of "enjoying life" always seems to revolve around drinking, partying, or picking up habits that I just don't want for myself. I don't want to compromise my values or adopt bad habits just to fit in with the "cool" crowd or to make friends.

I’ve been putting a lot of effort into improving myself. I’m trying to become a true gentleman and genuinely just want to be a good human being. I’m not doing this to impress anyone, get attention, or prove a point—I'm doing it for me. But sticking to my morals is making me feel really alienated and lonely.

Is anyone else going through this? How do you deal with the FOMO (fear of missing out) when you know the things you are missing out on aren't actually good for you? How do you find your tribe when you don't fit the mold of your generation?

Any advice or just hearing that I'm not alone in this would really help right now.