u/Final-Command4092

I am a m(17) and I really don't have any interest in anything. I do the minimum in everything. I just avoid everything, and I am more isolated.

I know effort needs to be done, and I have to make my life by myself but I don't know why, I can't put into my mind. Like that my life will depend on my effort and more.

I am also afraid to choose my pasion or just something I like, because sometimes it seems that it's just random, maybe you choose something you like and, you actually enjoy it, but in another perspective you could hate it a lot. And it's seems luck.

I am afraid of choosing what I like and then seeing it's a disaster. Like it starts pretty well and then goes to shit. Or just choosing something and people seeing me, and then commenting on it.

I also have to say that I grew up like a very spoiled child, or just overprotection to add information, and people usually makes my decisions, I don't know how to make them. So if I could have some others perspectives I would be glad.

I am a very passive person that the only one he does with his life is nothing. I only watch YouTube, listen to music all day or watch anime.

I leave my responsibilities for the end every time, and that causes me a lot of problems, I may repeat the year because procrastination, I just leave everything for at the end.

I struggle to study, and I feel anxious every time I do it, but not just the normal amount, but in a way where I will just feel it over all my body, and sometimes I will sweat (a little bit) and I just can't concentrate and will avoid it. So bad grades.

I forget everything I study after some time, like if I put myself to study at 9:00 a.m, at 8:00 p.m I don't remember anything or it's just I have to redo it all again.

I am also the type of person that never talks to people socially, or just prefers to be alone. Never gives an opinion, never decides anything, doesn't have social skills and I am very retarded understanding social settings.

I also have a problem where I live more in my head rather than in reality. This happens a lot and more with social settings and when I am bored or I don't really follow the conversation.

I don't have high expectations of myself or just have them, i don't understand why I should have them if they only cause dissatisfaction. So I think I live without them.

I also for some reason I don't take care of myself, I don't brush my teeth having caries, I don't study and I let people walk over me, like if people say that I am dumb I just say okay, or just well I am dumb.

I also don't really understand if I like what I picked anymore to study, I have very bad grades even if I like it, does that make logic? Because I don't really know if I picked because I wanted or just because I have to.

I don't really understand how people are the way they are. Like it's all in childhood? If I am constantly being lied to and then found out, I will have a strong disagreement from that?

For example if my first experience with something is good, I will like that forever or at just one point? Or just from perspectives or what you hear?