u/Final_Courage4448

Hello everyone,

Throwaway account; looking to get some clarity as to whether I’m in the wrong for this and acting irrationally.

I (30,f) got engaged toward the end of last year and asked my best friend (30,f) of 11 years to be my maid of honour. She was over the moon and quickly started planning the hen do.

For clarification, the hen do is a complete surprise. I have no visibility over the chats or the activities planned. It’s a one day event in our city and my understanding is it’s about half organised.

Last month, my best friend got engaged and I was so happy for her because she’s been waiting two years for him to pop the question. However the next day, she sent me a message to say she’ll no longer be planning my hen do as she now has her own wedding to plan and she’ll have to call on the other bridesmaids to plan the rest of the day. I was a bit shocked to be honest as she’d literally gotten engaged less than 24 hours before and wasn’t planning to get married until 2028. Since then I’ve heard from my other bridesmaids that she’s turning down activities for the hen do because they’re too expensive and she’s now saving for a wedding.

Anyway, we finally met up last week and I confessed how I was feeling. Her response was to tell me I’m entitled to my opinion, but she doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong. She now no longer wants to be my maid of honour and said she doesn’t want me as her bridesmaid any more. She’s also said she’ll leave it for me to reach out to her if I still want to be friends and if not she hopes I can be civil in future meet ups with our friend groups.

Edit: Honestly I was a bit shocked and kind of just sat there in silence while she said her piece. I don’t know if I’m blowing things out of proportion. My partner thinks I should just apologise to her and move on so as not to lose 11 years of friendship but I’m still a bit hurt by the whole thing. So I’m hoping to get some impartial thoughts that aren’t my other friends and family members.