I want to kill myself. Every time.
I’m usually smart and talented and I know that and then I make a mistake and I’m nothing at all.
My best friend is USUALLY helpful through other mental health complications but with this shit I can‘t go to him for help because he’s so talented and kind and in this state it makes me seethe and I have no one else I trust to go to.
I feel empty and like nothing. Deflated and worthless and so fucking angry and I want to kill myself whenever this happens. I just want the feelings to stop. And due to several contributing factors I can’t get professional help, and all the advice I find on the internet is about “dealing with someone with npd” rather than “dealing with having npd” and I don’t know what to do. How can I make this shit stop or less bad. please. i fucking hate talking about this but I am desperate