I never left my house for 6 years
I suck at explaining my struggles so I hope you can understand.
But I hate what my life has come to. I'm a 20 year old who wasted most of my life being stuck in my bedroom. I've had social anxiety since I can remember. Which affected my social life and experiences. I was afraid of everything so I never participated in anything and preferred to be alone. When high school came around I stopped going completely. This was the biggest mistake of my life. I got depressed and my anxiety got worse. I had zero contact with the outside world. I struggled with severe self esteem issues. I had no one's support. And now I lack the basic skills an adult should have. I dont know how to drive, have never been employed, and don't have life experience. I feel so much regret and misery and I want to get better, but my thoughts don't allow me to be happy or improve my life. I feel embarrassed by everything. As little as stepping outside to get sunlight. Again without any support this feels 1000x harder. The little bit of friends I had stopped checking in. It was mainly my fault because I pushed everyone away, including family. Im at the point where I feel like it's not worth living anymore. How can I stop letting my thoughts control me and start living?