Downtime in Ldr
I (34F) am in a 7-month LDR.
When we first started talking, I already knew about his struggles — depression, and everything he was carrying emotionally. I accepted him fully because despite all of that, he was incredibly reassuring. We communicated constantly: calls, movie nights, texts, little moments that made the distance feel manageable.
Lately though, things have started to fade. Fewer calls, fewer texts, fewer date nights.
At first, I understood. We both work hard, and we were trying to save and plan for eventually closing the gap. After work, exhaustion became normal for both of us. But now, whenever we talk about finally meeting or building a real future together, his answers have changed from certainty to “maybe.”
That word has honestly started hurting me more than I expected.
I’ve tried to walk away a few times because I’m scared I’m becoming the only one still holding onto the plans we made. But somehow we reconnect every time and try again because the love is still there.
I guess what I’m struggling with is this:
Is 7 months too early to already be having problems like this in an LDR?
Has anyone else gone through this phase where communication and certainty started fading? Did things improve, or was it the beginning of the end?
How did you work through it without losing yourself in the process?
I love him deeply, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m being patient with someone going through a hard time… or waiting for someone who is slowly letting go.