Where the heck are you finding the time?
Where are you finding time for self care? Hobbies? Groups you used to be a part of? Not to mention the endless to-do list that probably should happen before you can do said hobby ...
I'm a first time mom to a 10 month old. She basically screams any time I'm not hanging out with her. I might get 20 mins in the morning to do some chores while she plays, but after that, she's literally clinging to my leg all day crying. And I do hang out! We cuddle and read and play and wrestle and dance and piggy back and go outside... like... I love her. But I can't sustain this lack of time much longer.
When I can, I'm listening/watching/reading all these parenting resources. Most of which depict some version of "I get up before the baby and read my sci fi novels." HOW? My baby wakes up at 5:45! Others say "have someone else watch the baby for a while." HOW? She needs 2-3 naps a day and doesn't sleep in a crib. Or my personal favorite, "have a nice hot bath at the end of the day to unwind." HOW are we doing this when the dishes need done, the laundry, the toilets need cleaning, the entryway looks like a bomb went off?
EDIT: Thank you so much for the replies, everyone!! I was having a really bad day and it was so helpful to have suggestions, as well as solidarity. That's why I came here. I'd like to clarify now that my husband is AMAZING and very helpful. We are BOTH struggling with making time for ourselves because we are building a house with our own money and our own labor, mostly. I can't help him operate a dozer or run the chop saw, and he can't just stop the work. Snow flies in October. On a related note, I feel like people who don't live our lifestyle just... Can't understand it. I don't want "me time" to paint my nails. I want it so I can fill out the septic permit. So I can pick up parts for the boat so we can go hunting this fall. The chores look a little different for me. Outsourcing laundry when I need to fund new construction? Hilarious.
Thanks to your help, I have realized that I need to firmly schedule my time. It's the only way that my husband and I will be able to have a clear idea of when our break is coming up. I'll be rejoining my band practice to start. Even though it overlaps baby's bedtime, I'll trust that dad can put her down to sleep or die trying. :) I'll also need to prioritize pumping, something I dislike and don't make time for now. But I need to do it.
I really appreciate the support, and hope that others have been helped also.