Should I give Brooklyn one more shot before leaving NYC?
Hi everyone — I recognize this is ultimately a decision I have to make for myself, but I’m feeling pretty lost and would genuinely love some outside perspectives.
Fair warning: sharing a lot of personal details while apparently going through an existential crisis lol.
I’m a single 30F who moved to NYC from the Midwest about five years ago without knowing anyone here. I spent my first two years in Park Slope near Barclays, then about two years in Red Hook. After a breakup and moving out of our apartment, I ended up on the Upper West Side.
The last year or so has been a lot. I unexpectedly lost one of my dogs to cancer, went through another breakup, and started a new job that can be pretty isolating because I don’t go into an office. Several of my friends have also moved away from the city, so in a lot of ways I feel like I’m starting over socially.
I’ve really tried to get myself out of the funk — joining social groups, getting out of my apartment, etc. — but I’m still struggling with feeling incredibly lonely and burnt out. I got to the point where I thought maybe it was just time to move back to Ohio. My family is there, my best friend is pregnant, and I know I would have people around me. At the same time, Ohio has never really felt like me, and part of me worries that I’m considering leaving NYC because I’m lonely rather than because I actually want to leave.
A few people have encouraged me to give Brooklyn another shot before I make that decision, and I keep coming back to it. I genuinely loved living in Brooklyn. It felt much more my speed than Manhattan, and I felt like I was able to build more of a community there. I just don’t know whether Brooklyn really was a better fit for me or if I’m romanticizing a version of my life from a few years ago.
One slightly ridiculous thought I’ve had: both of my exes live in Brooklyn, including around some of the neighborhoods I’d most want to move back to, which sorta freaks me out yet I know is silly. Apartment hunting also feels daunting right now, and I still have one dog, so that narrows things a bit.
I guess my question is: Has anyone moved from Manhattan back to Brooklyn (or from Manhattan to Brooklyn) because they were feeling burnt out or disconnected from the city? Did it actually change your quality of life or help you find more of a sense of community?
I know moving boroughs isn’t magically going to fix loneliness or grief, and I may never know which choice is “right.” I’m just afraid I’ll regret leaving NYC without giving Brooklyn one more shot, especially because I loved living there before. At the same time, I’m exhausted from how lonely the last year has felt.
Would genuinely appreciate any perspectives — especially from anyone who has gone through a similar “do I need to leave NYC, or do I just need to change how I’m living here?” phase.