I’m struggling to tell the difference between setting healthy boundaries and shutting people out entirely
I’ve seen the way my friend talks about less conventionally attractive girls with his friends, (which i feel like is a phase most teenage dudes go through, lol) and it makes me uncomfortable being around him, because I never feel like I can just be myself. Man, I have paper thin lips, a bigger nose, asymmetrical eyes, and I struggle with my weight which often changes how I look. I feel like I’m constantly fighting for his approval that day, and honestly, that’s exhausting. It's been triggering me and affecting my day to day life (constantly thinking if he'd approve of what i'm doing). I know I shouldn't care what he thinks, but I grew up conventionally unattractive, and now I can pass as average on a good day, so my self esteem journey has barely begun. Also, I'm autistic so I often have trouble telling when he’s joking/ being serious. He finds it funny and has joked about it, but I'm insecure about this/ don’t wanna burden him with my lack of social intelligence. I genuinely value him a lot as a friend, we’ve been talking almost every hour of every day for the past couple of months and having him around has had an initial positive effect on me, but lately it’s just been exhausting to deal with, and i really just wanna cut him off. My therapist constantly tells me i run away from my problems. Am I running away /being avoidant or am I avoiding drama and sparing my energy?