Been over 3 years and I’m still not over my ex
My ex (21F) and I (22M) broke up about 3.5 years ago during our freshman year of college. At the time, we were struggling with long distance (9-hour time difference), constant rough patches, and just not being as happy as we once were. Looking back now, the reasons feel fixable and honestly kind of stupid.
The problem is… I’ve missed her ever since the day we broke up.
I’m in a much better place mentally and emotionally now, but I still think about her constantly and I can’t fully accept the idea that we may never get back together. I’ve tried talking to other girls over the years, but nothing compares. I subconsciously compare everyone to her, and it feels like my mind has erased all the bad parts of the relationship. At this point, I’d still drop everything to make it work with her long-term.
We’ve stayed in touch sporadically over the years — birthdays, holidays, random check-ins, even periods where we talked for days straight as “friends.” It’s been a few months since we last spoke, and I still miss her deeply. We’ve known each other for nearly 10 years, and since the breakup we’ve never gone longer than 6 months without talking.
The last real conversation we had was about giving each other room to grow and experience life. We’re both out of school now and living in the same city again, and part of me keeps wondering if I should reach out. Another part of me feels delusional for still holding onto hope after this much time.
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I feel embarrassed that after 3+ years I still love and miss her this much. Has anyone else been through something similar? Did you eventually move on, or did reconnecting actually work out?