Going through the most heart wrenching experience of my life.
My fiancé ended our relationship about 3 months ago and I can’t comprehend how you can ask to marry someone and prepare to spend the rest of your life together and then end it the next. What’s worse is I’ve been in this grey area of him saying he wants to be with me but doesn’t want to hurt me ( and himself) by not putting in the effort he knew I wanted. He says he’s emotionally burned out and not sure when he will be ready to try and give me what I want. We have started going on dates to see if this will flip that switch in him and he says he’s still in the middle. I told him he has till the end of may to decide what he wants before I force myself to go no contact ( easier said than done I guess). This has been the worst experience of my life and has me questioning my self worth and I still cry repeatedly. I’m not ready to tell the world the man I was ready to marry suddenly tossed me away like nothing. I don’t understand how you can say you want to be better for me but have no drive to do it? I don’t want to do a lot of things but I continuously choose to do them to be better so why can’t he do the same. I’m crushed and don’t know how I’m ever going to recover from this. I’m hopelessly in love and am blindsided by this and hate myself more everyday I wait for him but don’t want to give up on this. I am so lonely and haven’t told many in my life and those I have told are kinda over it now. I’m so alone and have no clue what to do.