Need advice, from Pisces woman.
Long story short:
I dated the ex-girlfriend of my drug dealer, and deep down, I still want her back.
We had two intense weeks together. She told me she loved me, and honestly, I loved her too. She knows that. I told her I’d move mountains for her if I had to.
It ended badly because she was still in love with her abusive ex — a guy almost twice her age. Huge red flags, obvious issues there.
After that, I blocked her and we had no contact for 2 years.
Then one night, I needed that same drug at a weird hour, and she was literally the only person I could get it from. We ended up reconnecting and becoming friends again. Early on, I told her that if we were going to stay in contact, it had to stay friendship only — no dealer/customer dynamic.
So yeah, I basically friendzoned myself.
After a while, I admitted that being around her was hard because my feelings were still very strong. I even tried cutting contact for a few days, but I missed her too much.
Now it’s been about 2 months since reconnecting, and here I am asking Reddit for advice.
I genuinely think I can stay friends with her if I have to. But the real question is this: when both I and even a friend of mine can clearly feel there’s still tension and chemistry from her side too… would it be a bad idea to kiss her?
The situation is complicated as hell. If she doesn’t kiss me back, I risk making everything awkward. On top of that, there’s still the obsessive ex who randomly shows up at her house acting like he owns the place.
And somehow the police don’t really do anything about it. I’ve literally sat there and witnessed it myself.
So yeah, TL;DR:
I’m still deeply in love with her. She says she doesn’t want a relationship, but I also don’t want to lose her completely.
One important detail: she absolutely loves thoughtful gifts. Small meaningful things really get to her. One of the favorite gifts I gave her was a little glass Pisces decoration.
Help out an autistic hopeless romantic here.