Backstory: Me and this friend, i will call L, have been friends for about 6 years now. We met in our home state and then they moved halfway across the country and i moved a state over. We talk constantly, videochats sometimes going for 8hours straight. A year ago L came to visit me, and then last minute decided to also go to a music fest they used to frequent, they went with their old college sweetheart. They ended up falling back in love with their college sweetheart and decided to move back to our home state. I was very excited for them to live closer, but also feeling kinda gross about their visit to me, after the music festival, being 99% them talking about this college sweetheart, and textinf them near constantly. I told them this and they got quite upset, we worked through it and continued to talk about them moving back home, the fun we can have living closer, and the life they want to build. L's college sweetheart ended up flaking and becoming noncommital/not ready for a relationship. Then ensued L searching for someone else to fill that hole, i supported them through this. Although anytime i brought up myself in their new life fantasies, it got shut down. They have a pattern of putting everything into a romantic interest and deprioritizing our friendships when they have a crush/partner.
Fast forward to now, they are back in our home state, and feeling incredibly lonely. They havent gotten a job yet and dont have a vehicle yet, so they dont have many ways to go visit friends or just, get out of the house. All of their friends are too busy to hang, and their college sweetheart cancelled on their plans to see each other. So i offered to pay for them to take the train to visit me for a little bit, as they continually said they needed someones physical presence. The idea was immediately shut down with the clarification that MAYBE theyll visit someday. While they have every right to say no, i expressed that it hurt me. That it seems they do not want to visit me, and that i had envisioned a lot more time visitng back and forth than i think they did. They are now upset with me for bringing up my hurt, saying it is not about me. While i understand they want friends local to them, those friends are all flaking now that theyve moved, and i am trying to be the friend they need rn, but i have to work so theyd have to come to me. They are avidly against it and say i am making it all about myself now. I am feeling like they are not interested in a friendship outside of online with me, and that being closer to me wasnt a factor in them moving back home.
So, am i over reacting for being hurt and feeling like a second thought? Am i not being considerate?