The little things hurt the most
It is the little things that hurt the most. The fact that time and attention was spent on this other person to learn about them; to adapt their interests to fit the type of person that person wanted.
I keep reminding myself that it was not about me. That it was reflection of them. The actions are not as a result of something lacking with me.
The more I think about it, I realize it is the exact opposite. I was never lacking. I was too big and I shrank. Little by little so that it wasn't obvious, until I was a person I barely recognized. My strength and confidence withered away as a neglected houseplant that was forgotten while away on am extended holiday.
In my healing, I am realizing that other people in my life really SEE me. They want wonderful things for me. They believe in me and can express this to me in ways that feed my soul and power me to do better and want better. i am dedicated to continue to see the wondefully beautiful kind nature of people that I have always believed in.
My parter of over 20 years, sees me as unrealized potential. They see someone who made sacrifices for our life and family. I held him up so he could succeed. Because to me his successes were ours. I never realized how alone and isolated I was in this relationship until I found out how he really values me.