My friend mirrors my life and it’s making me uncomfortable
SORRY THIS IS LONG!!
I (F) have a friend (F) who I originally got quite close to at college. At first everything was fine, but over time I’ve started feeling really uncomfortable with how much she seems to copy me and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it or if it’s actually crossing a line.
It started small, where she would take inspiration from things I posted or talked about, which I didn’t mind. But over time it’s become a pattern that feels more intense, almost like she’s trying to become me.
It started with copying outfits I’d wear when I’d meet her, buying the same outfit and then wearing it herself. Yeah, whatever, that’s normal for girls. Then it started with her casually saying things like she gets “inspo” from my accounts and that she’s “jealous” of me.
She followed my Pinterest and saved all the same pins I had saved, including ones I had specifically saved for tattoo ideas. She would then send me the tattoo ideas I’ve saved and message me saying she’s getting that exact tattoo. Again, only small nuance things at the time.
Then one night, I noticed she had then used my photos on her own social media??? When I confronted her and asked why she was using them, she said “she didn’t realise they were my photos”, despite them being on my own instagram..? but she still didn’t take them down for several weeks afterwards, one she had up as her profile picture, which was very weird considering it was a photo of me without my face.
I’ve firmed my university choice for this September at a prestigious school for my course, I’ve started creating designs on canva, procreate etc. and uploading them to instagram. A few days later, she’s posted an almost replica of my post, with all very similar designs, I could tell she’d put my designs into AI and recreated it, I confronted her about it and she admitted it, got embarrassed and deleted it.
However, now she’s decided she wants to do my course (which is a very niche course, there’s only one in the country and it’s 4 hours away from our hometown) but she can’t because she doesn’t have the grades for the university, so she applied to the next geographically closest university to mine for some random course..
She knows I previously had issues with a friend being quite overbearing when I moved up to university with them last year, which contributed to me deciding to reapply somewhere else by myself this year for a fresh start. I’ve also been very clear about being excited for having space and independence this time.
The kicker of it all is she has also been lying and telling people that she got into the same university as me (because it’s prestige), but “chose not to go because she couldn’t afford it,” which isn’t true as she doesn’t even have the grades for the course/university I’m attending.
I’d maybe understand some of this more if she had her own independent ideas as well, but it feels like she waits for me to post or do something before doing something very similar herself. For another example, I posted some photos I’d had taken of me in a dress on a Persian rug yesterday, and today she’s posted very similar photos in a similar outfit with the same posing and messaged me saying she “took inspiration from my post and copied it.”
She will openly admit to copying things I’ve done and thinks this is then okay because she’s voiced it. I’ve tried distancing myself, but she continues to message me across multiple platforms, often sending long paragraphs and multiple messages every day, and pulls even closer when I don’t reply.
This is only a slice of what’s happened off the top of my head, but it’s got to the point where it doesn’t feel like normal inspiration anymore.. it feels like she doesn’t really have her own sense of self.
Ive started hiding things from her, restricting information, deleting her off of accounts like my Pinterest, but she still finds a way to stay involved, refollow me, keep tabs on my accounts etc. I don’t want to be rude or cause drama, but I also feel like my own ideas and identity don’t feel like mine anymore.
Am I overreacting for finding this weird and wanting space? I’m trying to set boundaries and restrict her access to me, I’m even trying to move away, but it’s hard when she’s so adamant!