So I’m around 16 sessions in with EMDR (due to CPTSD and having various trauma to work through). It was a confusing ride at times. Sometimes I genuinely didn’t think I could keep going on. Sometimes I felt like quitting. There are many times I thought I was being retraumatized or pushed too far and I learned that it was extremely important to communicate when that happens. So if you’re feeling a multitude of emotions or intense in your journey right now, you’re not alone. I’ve been there.
I can genuinely vouch for the fact that EMDR is 100% worth it (granted you have a good therapist that you feel safe with ofc). I went back and read on some old journals and some of the things I wrote just before starting EMDR, and holy moly. The amount of epiphanies I’ve had since then has truly changed me as a person. I look back on my journal and have so much compassion for who I was, while also being able to move forward and embrace my new life. And life is so much better than I could’ve ever imagined. I thought I was doomed to stay in this loop I was in for so long. I never ever thought I could live the life I’m living rn. I feel motivated for life. I don’t have many fears. And for once I’m just living my life like a regular human ya know? Not constantly reading into people’s tones or body languages, not being on edge about anything, not walking on eggshells, not people pleasing etc… I’m just living unapologetically and authentically. I couldn’t thank EMDR enough for that.
While I still have a few more things to work through, I was able to communicate to my therapist that I want to break away for a little to live my new found life/experiences. I don’t feel dependent on EMDR, which is also awesome because a lot of the time in other therapies I’d constantly be waiting for the next session hoping to get some relief. I am my relief now. How cool is that? Wishing you all the same peace and happiness!