I have a fascination for really terrible people or people who plan to do terrible things
I can't go into extreme detail because of reddit's rules and the rules of this sub, but since I was a kid I have had a severe desire to talk and interact with people who have done crimes/planning to do crimes. I do not condone their actions nor derive romantic/sexual pleasure from it at all but my desire generally stems from pure fascination. It all started from a book given to me regarding murders, SA, the victims and really went into the gristly bits and continued from shows talking about those actions.. This paragraph I have written is a severely censored text of my story but I suppose I need to get it off my chest.
EDIT: I lead a very mundane and normal life currently. I have never been SA'ed in my childhood or experienced any sort of thing related to that. I don't know where my desire comes from it has always just been there in my head.
EDIT 2: Have I ever committed crimes or thought about committing crimes? As a child, yes. I stole items from other people constantly to figure out what it was like then felt extremely guilty. I flushed my stolen items down the toilet and it clogged up my entire house. Do I think about doing crimes NOW? Of course not. I think about talking to people who HAVE committed crimes and WILL commit crimes, not that I ever forgive or condone those actions.