u/Firm-Highlight1267

so i recently got divorced and have had a couple of situations where i am uncertain if the way i responded is the best way as i don’t really want to make people uncomfortable. but i also don’t want to lie and frankly i am ok about the situation and happier for it. and part of me also am not sure if it will somehow change the way they view me 🙄🙄

most common scenario i have been having is this - with a client - somehow conversation leads to questions or statements about (ex) husband and a response is warranted

at the moment if it’s not a client that i am close with i just keep trying to deflect or change topic or whatever. in the hopes of trying to move it on. because i feel like if i said im divorced, it becomes awkward, person will apologise, then i have to like say its ok it’s ok - then it becomes weird and i also think it might be TMI. but i also feel like im lying ….

if its a client im close with, sometimes i just tell them, because it feels weird and wrong to lie or deflect (honesty and relationships is quite important in my job field) but then i also have to deal with the oh no im so sorry is everything ok are you ok response - and then i have to respond with a its ok it’s ok everything is fine dont worry about it 😅😅 and then its like i dont know - there is some awkwardness and i have to move things along — so i wonder whether they actually prefer me to not say anything ….
or if there is a better way to deal with this

my second most common scenario with like random service staff or shop staff when my kid is with me - who will ask where is the dad 😅😅😅 then it’s like i either have to just avoid the whole issue and say oh he never come or i say oh im divorced. the former is not preferred because my kid will be confused i think but then now i have to say it’s ok it’s ok to the person and then it’s awkward again 😅😅😅

help 😅😅😅

now that i am a single parent and in my early 40s, i find myself in a situation i never expected to be in. on the one hand, i am quite happy with my newfound peaceful life, and i have friends to hang out with etc

however - i do miss having someone to do things with and pretty much share a life with. its one of those things where, for example, you can go and have a nice lunch yourself, and its totally fine, but it would be much nicer to share the experience with someone else. so as much as i have friends, they all have their own lives too (most are married and/or with kids).

i am starting to wonder if i now need to be intentional about this because i dont really meet anyone via work and i am not an extrovert by nature either so going to events myself is doable but takes abit out of me. and after spending about a month or so on CMB, im not very convinced apps are the way to go.

so im wondering if people in similar situations can share how you reconciled this with yourself and how you figured out next steps and what is realistic. i am not delusional which is why i figured, sitting around and just not doing anything doesn’t work (it might have worked when i was younger 😅 but my circumstances are different now)