r/asksg

Was driving just now and the radio hosts were talking about this.

Personally, my wife carries her own handbag.

And I help her out on her work laptop bag.

What's your take?

Genuine question and not meant to be racist. This question has been on my mind for quite a while. Why do we typically see an Indian man dating a Chinese lady in Singapore, but we rarely see a Chinese man dating an Indian lady. Why?

The only instance of a Chinese man + Indian lady couple would be Shanti Pereira and her fiancé. I can’t think of any other couple. Certainly not within my circle of friends and I don’t see any on the streets.

For some reason, I keep encountering mean girls at pilates and spin studios despite always being polite. Here’s some examples:
- saying “sorry excuse me I need to use the hair dryer beside you” and getting met with eye rolls or barely moving to make space
- girls accidentally bumping into me and not saying sorry or even rolling eyes at me when they were the ones who were spatially unaware by being on their phones or talking to their friends
- even had a girl who was busy spraying deodorant on herself when i was right beside her tying my shoelaces with my eyes in direct line with her spray and not apologising

I have never been rude to anyone at these studios cause what reason do I have to be rude to literal strangers LOL but I really wanna know if anyone else faces this

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Basically met up with a few of my guy friends for supper last night.

Nothing special. Just the usual guys sitting around eating, talking rubbish, complaining about work, family, getting older, etc.

One topic led to another and ended up talking about money and, more specifically, how much we tell our wives.

One of them mentioned something about his wife asking him how much he had in one of his accounts. Another guy joked that there are some things your wife doesn't need to know.

When i shared, "My wife already knows mine."

Then they started asking me what I meant by "knows."

I said all. And they went, "what do you mean all?"

All means all lor

Apparently, according to some of my friends, this is a very bad idea.

One even told me quite seriously that no matter how good the marriage is, a husband should always keep some that his wife doesn't know about.

Another said no need to tell all mah.

Then divorce comes into the discussion.

Basically their logic were trusting their spouse is a good thing. Nobody goes into a marriage expecting things to go wrong. But, revealing entire financial position leaves me unnecessarily exposed if the relationship ever turns bad.

Another pointed out that it was not about hiding them from the wife, it was more that husband and wife should each maintain some financial independence and don't necessarily need full visibility into everything the other person has.

Then one of them asked me directly:

"So she knows how much you have?"

I said yes.

And literally a few of them went facepalmed.

I'm sure I'm not the only one right?
Coz, 1 out of 6 guys at a supper is hardly a stats right?

Also, my wife never demanded any of this information from me.
She also only got to know after we got married.

I mean, how else would you plan for nominations, insurance, or in the event of death when discussing all these?

Like those super enthu and garang type that genuinely likes military life, and they always striving to get into Command Sch like SCS and OCS that kind?

I’ve worked in a few countries and lived abroad for a prolonged period of time as well. One of the strangest things in Singapore is how there seems to be some widely accepted notion that the path to retirement is to sell your own-stay hdb/condo/landed and move to a smaller / cheaper unit to ‘unlock equity’ in your home

To be very honest I find this bizzare - in nearly every other place I’ve been people work towards retirement by finding a forever home and working their way towards it, and making plans to enjoy life at that point. And they are usually happier than not.

I really haven’t heard of anyone who’s actively looking to downgrade their lifestyle to retire, except in Singapore. What’s the point of working your whole life to move into a small and old hdb flat when you retire??

I really wonder what people think about this. Of course I understand retiring gracefully is a privileged thing. But hey shouldn’t we aspire to that? Seems like everyone is so blue pilled on the sg asset progression game they forgot that life is meant to be worth living..?

25M here. Lately, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about friendships and loneliness.

I do have people around me, but sometimes I still feel lonely, especially when friendships get quieter, replies take longer, or everyone is busy with their own lives.

I also catch myself wondering how much effort I should put into maintaining friendships without feeling like I’m chasing people or overthinking every interaction.

At the same time, I don’t want to become detached to protect myself.

For those in your 20s and beyond, how do you deal with this? Do you eventually get more comfortable with friendships becoming less constant as you get older?

Happily married?

Just-going-through-mption married?

Putting-up-with-each-other married?

Or

Eating-outside married?

Come share your observations and experiences...

what the f is going on? Went from 1 -> 2 kids, I’m having the toughest time of my life.
Going from 0-> 1 isn’t even this level of difficult. How do yall do it with 3 kids??!!!
After #2 i said no more #3.

Parents of 2 kids, please validate if it’s really that difficult or am I overthinking?

I work in a law firm. Hours are notoriously long, often requiring me to work late into the night (average 11pm-1am). This is also because we are expected to urgently respond to clients in different time zones.

Our team’s policy is WFH once a week. But for anyone in legal practice, you would know that the culture is that WFH is not strictly policed, and it’s also generally acceptable coming into office a bit later, especially if you had a late night or needed to rush something out in the morning.

After all, as professionals, our work follows us everywhere and whether we work in office or at home makes no real difference to the work product.

Recently, my Partner’s secretary has been strictly enforcing the WFH policy and going around checking whether the lawyers in the team are in by a certain time. If not, she will ask that lawyer’s secretary to constantly check on their whereabouts and report back what time they will be reaching office. She keeps an excel spreadsheet of who is WFH on which days, and if a lawyer is late to work, she will cancel our WFH entitlement for that week.

When she was approached about this cancel of WFH entitlement and whether this is something that should be communicated to the team, her response was basically that she didn’t want this in writing and she wants it to be spread by word of mouth.

I’ve been in my team for many years and this is the first time she’s been policing us like that. Her justification is that the Partner is very upset we have not been complying with the WFH policy. But we’ve never heard this directly from the Partner themself. In fact, the Partner probably is in office 30% of the time.

This same secretary also manages the team’s leave calendar to ensure only a few lawyers are on leave on any given date. We are contractually entitled to 30 days leave. It’s literally in our employment contract. Yet when we try to apply for more than 20+ days of leave, she will reject our leave on the basis that “boss doesn’t like you to take all your leave - you all already get to WFH, and WFH is like leave, so if you all take all your leave, then might as well not work”Yet I’ve never heard this rule from my Partner directly.

What is going on? Is she a sadist on a power trip? Or am I just being whiny?

my mom always nags at me whenever I get iced teh or milo beng to have with my food and she will wag her finger at me and say "when you grow old you will know, don't say I never tell you" or in hokkien "drink cold, eat hot, say also no use"

Thankful for this journey. I think its finally time to give up the fight and just end it all.

🩵 my community, you've been nothing but awesome. With ready to go answers for almost everything. Words of comfort. Thank you.

Hey, 22M here. Lost most of my friends over the past few years and I’ve been recovering from a pretty rough sickness. I’m finally well enough to go out and do stuff again, but not quite stable enough to go back into school or work yet. Basically just sitting around bored as hell and missing having a proper social life.

Some things about me:
-I can talk for hours about pretty much anything if the convo goes deep enough

-Big into films and anime (been a massive anime nerd since I was a kid, and I’ve watched well over a hundred movies)

- I enjoy games but I’m getting tired of always playing alone

-Used to hit the gym a lot before I got sick hoping I can find my love for it back once I’m better

-Down for mahjong or poker even though I’m not great at either

- I love music a lot, my fav genres are metal, rock and rap but i do listen to a wide range of genres

- i Love food, I’m not working right now so I can’t really go wild on the expensive stuff

If you’re down to grab a meal, chill, watch something, play games, or just talk shit, drop a comment or DM. Looking for genuine connections, not just surface level small talk.