Help. We’re on a break.
Sorry for long post, I guess I’m looking for any type of support or similarly.
Today me and me boyfriend(?) of about two years decided to go on a break. The reason is to be able to take steps towards figuring out our own personal struggles, since this has affected our relationship a lot as of recently with arguments and irritations. It was his initiative, but while I was hesitant I also understood where he was coming from. I have to kind of get a grip of my own life, as I have been extremely attached to him and mostly have put his needs before my own, and he has his personal struggles that he needs to get a grip on.
He’s going on a trip in a few days out of country to see family, and decided that we will talk when he’s back. We agreed to go no contact during these three weeks, I know it doesn’t seem like a long time, but to me it feels like forever.
I’ve never really been able to completely understand what a break really means, but we did talk it over and none of us wants a real ”break up”, this is not for any of us to see other people, simply to focus on our own stuff to be able to come back stronger. Again I was hesitant, but I also know that our relationship needs to improve for us to stay together, and a big part of that is to able to show up for ourselves and have each of us in a stable place.
There’s so much love between us, he loves me and I love him and we both know that. The future was talked about before we said bye, or rather ”I’ll see you soon”. I just don’t know how to deal with this, what to think. I want to try my best to focus on what I need for myself, but I’m scared to get hung up on the negative ”what ifs”, I’m scared of trust issues or past trauma in the relationship prying into my head. I just feel so empty, like a big part of me has just been taken away and put on hold.