u/Firm-Quantity4788

Hi all!

I recently purchased a Lettuce Grow Farmstand hydroponics system (the largest size, 36 plants, 6 tiers) from Facebook Marketplace and the original owner did not purchase the grow light rings that attach to the stand since she had planned to use it outdoors. I plan to use it indoors, and I’m looking for the cheapest way to get grow lights on it without having to spend hundreds of dollars on the branded light rings.

I was curious to know if anyone knows where to purchase refurbished Lettuce Grow lights, or if anyone has any suggestions or ideas that would allow me to DIY them myself.

I appreciate any suggestions or tips! Thank you in advance!

Long post incoming:

I met my spouse in Italy when I was young and in college on a study abroad trip. We kept in touch, and I went back on vacation a year and a half later. We began a relationship and I planned to come back to visit him in March 2020. 8 hours after my arrival, the whole world shut down due to the pandemic. We had an extremely quick engagement, and lived together during quarantine. I thought I was living in a fairytale.

I bought a dress, we toured venues, we talked about guest lists, having a family; all things I was so excited about.

We decided to marry in court in Italy so he could come back to the States with me because he hadn't even met my family at that point, and the pandemic prevented him from entering the US as just my fiance at that point. We decided to make it official on paper so we could begin his green card paperwork and plan the big wedding celebration after the pandemic was over.

As soon as we got to the States, everything changed. He became cruel, secretive, aggressive, dismissive... Every negative word you can think of, that's how he was acting.

He would disappear for hours or overnight with no explanation, gaslighting me into believing I was the reason for his stress and actions. We fought constantly, because he was a terrible partner. He would demean me and abuse me physically and emotionally. I don't know how I tolerated it for as long as I did. I guess I thought I loved him and I had to try everything in my power to make it work.

There was so much deceit and lies that followed in the 2 years after I brought him to the States. Immediately after arriving, not only did his demeanor change, but his actions changed as well. There are so many horrific and cruel things that he did during the duration of that time. One day, I was looking for a certificate for a course that I had completed on his laptop. I saw a file with the label saying one of his friends' names. I thought it was strange. Then I saw his Notes app was open on the laptop. I saw a note that was dated a few days before my own birthday, and it was a message written in Italian to "his baby, the love of his life", wishing her a happy birthday, and that he hopes this relationship continues as long as possible. I was extremely confused and red flags immediately started going off because that was not a message that I received on my birthday because he was with me on my birthday. It was also in Italian and the context of the message didn't make sense (if he were to be talking about me). My heart dropped, and then I decided to open the file with his friends name as the label. Inside was a complete text document of every single text message between him and his "friend" from December 2021 to December 2022. There was also a folder of audio files - thousands of them. It is extremely common for those in Europe that use WhatsApp to use the audio message feature. A third folder contained all of the attachments, so photos and videos. I thought that I was looking at an exported conversation between him and his friend, so I began reading the text document to see if maybe I could find anything incriminating him for being a cheater. As I was reading the text, it quickly became clear that he was not talking to his "friend". The friend's name was mentioned in the texts multiple times as if they were speaking about him, so why was this folder labeled with his name? As I continued reading, the messages became sexually explicit, and I realized that he was concealing an affair by labeling her contact name as his friends name. I switched to looking at the documents folder of the pictures and videos, and I found everything I needed to see. Nudes, homemade porn, photos of them together, where he took her to a spa, dates where he took her to the same hotel that he proposed to me in so that they could spend nights together alone. When I had heard, read, and seen enough, I immediately started throwing all of his things into garbage bags and flung them out the front door and changed the automatic lock.

I knew that I needed to begin digging into all of the information I had found on the laptop. It took me weeks, but I read every single text and translated every single audio message. I compiled everything into a timeline, highlighting the most important pieces of information, like when he literally tells her in an audio message that "the wedding dress just arrived and there's not even going to be a wedding hahaha we're going to hell." Another said that "I just have to be patient and wait until the day that I can divorce her and be free and do whatever the fuck I want" and "I should say thank you to my wife who isn't even my wife for my green card." He spoke ill of my family, especially my parents, who paid for his green card in full, attorneys fees, and all. My father was the one who put himself on the immigration paperwork as my spouse's sponsor because I did not meet the financial requirement to sponsor him myself.

I essentially built a complete timeline and had all of the evidence available and organized to present to an attorney. I have spent upwards of $30,000 trying to get someone from USCIS to flag his case and deport him, revoking his green card benefits and seizing his financial assets. Two years after discovering his deceit, I finally took him to court for an annulment based on immigration marriage fraud, and he wanted a decree of dissolution, so just a divorce, so that he could apply for his citizenship without me because the marriage 'ended in good faith'. He had already filed for either his continuation of green card benefits or his citizenship prior to even having a divorce decree, which to my understanding is perjury because when he filled out the document to extend his green card benefits, he must have stated that he already had a divorce, which was a lie.

The immigration attorney that we used was also his family friend, and he implicated himself by giving my spouse and myself advice that was essentially illegal and would get him in trouble with the bar. I had literally a mountain of evidence and I was so confident going into court that I would be granted my annulment and then I could begin the process of deportation. However, despite him and his attorney having zero evidence or argument, the court still granted him a divorce decree, with the judge stating that while yes, it could be very true that my spouse came here for a green card, it could also be very true that he was no longer interested in the relationship and was a bad partner. Apparently, I did not provide the court with enough evidence to meet the burden of proof to get the verdict I was asking for... He literally told his mistress that he was going to divorce me and bring her to the US, and told her that it was a marriage of convenience. How much more do you fuck!ng need?!?!

I have never felt so defeated. I drove myself into debt trying to fight for myself and my rights. My parents spent less on getting him into the country, and I have spent an astronomical amount trying to get him out. I have sent preliminary fraud notifications to USCIS, border patrol, customs, you name it. It's basically just screaming into the void. Nobody hears you and nobody gets back to you. Meanwhile, my ex spouse is living a great life with a great job and even got himself a Maserati. He managed to find a native Italian business owner that operates multiple restaurants Downtown and they immediately became a 'clique'; Italians will always look after their own. His boss helped him lease an apartment where he lives with their chef that the boss brought over from Italy - he overstayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant that my ex spouse and his boss are essentially harboring. My ex spouse also gets the chef's paycheck paid to him so he can just transfer it to the chef on his own. So, he's committing felonies while still on green card status.

Meanwhile, I have spent every single resource I could possibly find to try and fight against him and I have failed every time. I have a chronic illness that unfortunately makes it difficult for me to keep a steady job, and I've also just had bad luck with past employers and have been laid off multiple times in the past few years. I still owe my lawyers money, I'm still in credit card debt, and I have to rely on the help of my family for financial assistance. I just wish that there was somebody that I could actually physically speak to and hand over all of my evidence and actually make something happen. I don't have the funds to continue fighting right now, but once I do, I am coming back with a vengeance.

Somebody has to be able to listen to me. Somebody has to be able to help me. Somebody has to be able to do something. I still have hope, because the alternative is to give up - and that's not in my vocabulary.

If anyone has any information, similar stories to share, or suggestions on what actions I can take that will actually have an outcome, please share. If you made it this far, thank you for listening.