Look I’ve never written anything on Reddit but I’m at my wits end I’ve gone through a break up just under a year ago for about 4-5 months we carried on seeing eachother saying we loved eachother kissing Hugging sex etc in mid november after making it clear so many fucking times she doesn’t want to be in a relationship she goes on a work do gets drunk and is calling me and telling me I’m still her boyfriend and she loves me and telling everyone at her work that. My mind got so screwed I had to block her I was having anxiety attacks constantly every time I saw her on my phone constantly throwing up from the anxiety I decided to block her I still miss and love her so much. dec 1st my grandad died and then February someone I consider being my second mum died im grieving 3 things at once and it’s getting worse and worse I can’t deal with all these voices the sweet serenity and thought of just a permanent sleep sounds amazing but I have my family and friends it’s the only thing pulling me through I’m begging for some sort of advice I miss them all and love them all so much I don’t know what to do with myself I want to sit in a hole and just cry I didn’t cry for 3-4 years but the last 3 months I’ve been crying nearly every day how do I get this to stop?
Sorry it’s so long and again I’ve never made any sort of post I don’t know what to do anymore