My long term partner 36F has an ongoing situtation of (micro) emotional infedility with a younger man. Am I overthinking ? How do I push the other person away ?
As the title says, I recently discovered that my wife has this ongoing emotional infidelity (text/chat) with a younger man. For now, it seems like it's pen pal kind of thing. But I see how it has developed. First it was common interests, then likes dislikes, now daily life, expressing emotional reactions.
I respect my wife and don't want to bound her, but the the execution of it is bothering me. Sometimes hour long, sometimes night.
I am going through emotional delimma. We have talked. I clearly conveyed, I am not feeling ok, But she says it makes her feel free.
Now I am sensing this emotional disconnect from her as we have discussed this a lot.
And I dont see an end to it. she wants to stay free, loved, dettached, be there for life, not wanting to talk a lot about it all at same time.
When we talked, We identified gaps in ourselves, I being introvert and reluctant decided to join book clubs, gym, etc. to give her space. She said she is going to express herself differently with respect to this case. Based on identified gaps, when i do something for her now, she says, not required.
then there are hidden signs. Not introducing to me. Reserving her phone. She was not like this. I never snooped on her.
I am hurting right now. Work is getting effected. Don't know why is this ongoing.
On one hand here we are. Have a long history, literally built our lives from scratch.
On other hand it this person, very new and remote and now Who knows our life. I don't know why he still bothers to carry on the communication knowing the situtation.
He seems intellectual. Not making moves. But we all are humans. we attach and i dont want him to our lives at all. specially at this phase.
Based on my observation of his intellectual behavior, I want to text him to tell him that our life and emotions are getting effected. He might respect and understand and move away quietly. on the other hand he might say it to my wife and our lives will be ruined.
Although For real, i wanna kick ass.
What would you do ?
Can I state some laws to deter him ?