My kitten passed away out of nowhere. I can't stop blaming myself.
less than a week ago I got a kitten someone sold me on a facebook ad. I should've seen the signs because he said he'd give her to me on the 20th, as she had not been weaned yet.
Then out of nowhere on the 6th, he told me that she was ready to go ASAP. I didn't know why, but I still went to get it.
She didn't run to her bowl of food, the first day she ate but she thre up. Then the next days she was eating less and less.
I didn't let her roam around the house because I thought It'd be dangerous for her so I turned an unused room into her little bedroom. The night before she got worse, I fell asleep on the couch. I was too exhausted and just fell asleep, she was left to free roam the living room. Maybe she ate something she shouldn't have. Maybe she was already sick beforehand, I will never know.
Then out of nowhere she got worse. She stopped eating entirely, and this morning she was so weak I took her to the vet. She passed away hours later.
I don't know if they gave her to me sick, if this was some unethical backyard breeder, if I could've done something differently. I don't know, how will I know? She was so sweet and so loving and one morning she just stopped responding. Even while she was agonizing, she approached me, to sleep next to me. And instead I left her to die in a cold heartless clinic. Maybe I could've done something. I don't know.
I pretended that it didn't affect me cause it was only 4 days, but I felt as though someone ripped my heart apart and called me a bad person. I can't stop crying. It hurts like hell because she didn't even get to live a life.