I need advice.
So essentially, I am in high school from a rural racist community. My black gf overlooked my phone and saw a distant friend say the n word. She said it didn’t bother her so I didn’t really think about it. Later that night I pushed really hard to go to a party of his, and before I was set to go, I noticed how upset and hurt she was by me wanting to go. I decided not to and explained to her that I was embarrassed it took me seeing her hurt to realize that I don’t want those types of people in my life. I am used to the disrespect and didn’t sit and think how she would feel. I explained this to her and left her alone for the night because I didn’t want to make it look like I was just saying everything to make her feel better. I feel like because of this mistake she doesn’t feel emotionally safe around me and I have no idea what to do. I know she won’t stick around if I put up with that kind of behavior.