I 40F feel at a real crossroads in my 4yr relationship with my partner 37M
We have been together for over 4 years, lived together for over 3. We love and respect each other and get on brilliantly most of the time. However, there are some ongoing issues which are not getting resolved and it feels like I'm the only one trying to fix them.
Two years ago I received some inheritance money and I offered to pay for his driving lessons so that he could pass his test. He took the lessons but still hasn't taken his test and gets defensive whenever I bring it up. It feels like almost £2000 down the drain, for nothing. I'm starting to feel resentful about being the one driving us everywhere.
Our intimacy is sporadic and when it does happen no time is taken over my pleasure.
I feel like I take on all the emotional load and do all the worrying over our relationship for both of us. I asked him to sort out couples therapy for us to improve our communication and intimacy (I'm already in individual therapy for anxiety and depression). He said he'd sort it but he hasn't. I brought it up this evening and he said "can I get my laptop fixed first”. What? I just don't feel like a priority.
I went away on my own for a couple of days recently because our talking was going around in circles and we were both so frustrated, when I got back I told him I needed him to step up and yes I'm a worrier but he doesn't worry about us enough. He agreed but nothing has really changed.
We live in an area I hate and I've wanted to relocate for a long time. He is open to it but hasn't taken steps to try and look at alternative living situations. I am pretty much living here for him and am starting to wonder if it's worth it.
I trust him implicitly and we make each other laugh and feel safe- there is lot of good there so I feel genuinely torn. How do I work out what is right for me ATP?