AITA for saying no to a family vacation?
I (28F) am autistic, to preface this. I am what would typically be considered "high functioning," as in I can usually communicate just as well as anyone else, I'm fully capable of living independently, I have a university degree and a full-time job, and most people wouldn't really be able to tell unless they knew what to look for. I've also had enough therapy that my coping mechanisms and awareness of my difficulties are pretty solid, so I haven't had the typical behaviour issues you might see in an autistic person in a very long time. But of course I do still have a nervous system that works differently than other people's, and that can cause me to get overwhelmed or frustrated in situations one wouldn't necissarily expect. My family (consisting of my mom, my sister and I) has always had a very low tolerance for this.
This is especially an issue when my family and I go on vacations together. The moment I'm not behaving exactly the way they think I should, they act like I'm wasting everyone's time and shouldn't be there. On one trip, I was starting to get overstimulated in the airport and my mom told me that if I was "going to be that way" then I should get back in the taxi and go home. On another trip, we had been driving around for a long time and I was getting a bit restless, and my sister said something along the lines of "wow, [my name] is so bored of us she doesn't even want to be in the car." There's always something like that where the moment my mood or disposition doesn't match exactly what's expected, they treat me like I'm insulting them and intentionally ruining the trip.
This morning, my mom said in the family group chat that a family friend of ours is planning a trip for this winter and asked if we wanted to go with them. My sister said yes. I texted my mom in a separate chat saying "you and [sister] can go if you like, but leave me out." Now both of them are angry at me for "runing" their vacation plans by not wanting to come. I never said they couldn't go, I just said that I didn't want to.
AITA?