u/Firm_Imagination7258

Fuck me. “What are you doing for your birthday?”; “any fun plans?”; “we should go for dinner to celebrate!”.

I’m grieving-those are my plans. Maybe crying, small amount of screaming into my pillow, wishing that I won’t wake up, but the dogs need me.

Fun…fuck that word. I was right. I should be wearing black all the frigging time. With a veil. And a massive purse to wap people who ask stupid questions (oh…by the by, there are such things as stupid questions, ask me how I know).

Celebrate what. Another year without the man who made me love life and made me laugh so hard I would pee a little?

Fuck my life.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk regarding the belief in un-birthdays. GAH.

I announced the celebration, it is 7 weeks away. I was dreading it because of my MIL. I let her know ahead of time before I announced it, and it went just like I thought-I am on the defensive trying to explain my choices.

Admittedly, apart from the date, time, place and that it will a joyous casual event I have not made any other concrete plans. I have not decided what the food or drinks will be and I haven’t created the photo arrangement. I am being told that I have missed something in the announcement, and she has demanded that I sit with her face to face to go over everything, and now I just want to set it up and not go.

She also keeps telling her it’s going to be good closure. I’m about to tell her to fuck off. My husband promised me he would not die before her…boy did he fail on that promise…if there is an afterlife he better hope that cast iron doesn’t hurt in the astral plane…