I kissed my best friend's boyfriend (once) and I feel bad now
I know it sounds horrible, but listen... I've known this guy (20 M) since we were 8, though we weren't really friends. Out of the blue, he starts talking to me as if we are very close, and I thought maybe he kinda had a crush on me, but I am not confident AT ALL and have 0 romantic experience so I didn't think much about it.
Months went by and all of a sudden he starts dating my best friend (19 F). Wow. I was happy for her since I could see her being so in love with this guy but I couldn't help but feel like something was off. I mean- he was hitting on me just a few months ago??? Then I conviced myself I wasn't really that important and that maybe he just started being nice with me in order to get my friend's attention.
One day the three of us were going to the cinema but my friend got sick and since she didn't want to ruin the movie day for us, conviced us both to go anyway. I could tell he was being extremelly nice and helpful trying to pay for everything and not letting me carry my bag by myself and all, but man... I was kinda enjoying that special treatment since I was going through some harsh moments in my life (which btw he knew).
Then he said he has been in love with me since we first met. Boom! He started complimenting me and saying stuff like "I'll never love anyone as much as I love you". I told him I wasn't even sure if I liked men, but he said that everyone was bisexual and not to think much about it. Then I agreed on kissing him when he asked (i know it's lame that was my first kiss).
I feel like a piece of sh** for that. My best friend is the best girl in the world and she doesn't deserve all of this. Plus, after that I think I am more sure about not liking men? I'd like to tell my friend her boyfriend cheated on her, but as soon as she finds out with whom our friendship will be over. So, would it be okay not telling her anything at all and just avoid her boyfriend from now on??