Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this?
My ex and I don’t have a court order. Our usual arrangement has been that he has the kids Friday through Sunday.
Recently, his communication has changed. He used to ask if he wanted to keep the kids an extra day. Now he just tells me what’s going to happen.
For example, I asked him on Sunday when the kids were coming back because I had my first day of clinical on Tuesday. He didn’t respond until Monday evening and said, “Wednesday, they come back. They come back here Friday.”
I responded that Tuesday after 4 p.m. worked because I’d be done with clinical and wanted my kids back. I even offered to drive and pick them up so transportation wouldn’t be an issue.
Instead of explaining why Tuesday wouldn’t work, he just kept repeating, “I said Wednesday,” and “As I stated, Wednesday after 4 will be fine.”
This isn’t an isolated incident. Lately he’s also started saying things like, “I’m keeping them for the summer,” or “I want the kids full time,” as if those decisions have already been made. Before this, he would actually ask me if we could adjust the schedule.
I’m trying really hard not to turn every conversation into a power struggle. I want to keep communication focused on the kids, but I’m also not comfortable with him acting like he can unilaterally change the parenting schedule whenever he wants.
For those who have dealt with a co-parent like this:
How did you respond without escalating the situation?
Did you simply restate your boundary and leave it there?
At what point did you decide it was time to get a formal custody order?
I’m looking for practical advice on maintaining boundaries while keeping things as peaceful as possible. I don’t want unnecessary conflict, but I also don’t want to set a precedent that one parent gets to dictate the schedule.