For context
I was 14 and he was 22 when we first met, he acted like the cooler older guy, gave me alcohol, vapes, bought me food, then it turned explicit. When I was 15 he asked me to be in a relationship, and at 16 or 17 asked me to marry him, don’t worry we are not married, but after 5 years, almost 6, I fully understand what happened to me, and what he did, I thought it was love but now I realized it was grooming.
I really don’t fully understand why I let it happen, but I’m also now 21, and I know I would never go for someone of that age, even if it’s “love”. But I’m scared to leave him, not that he’ll hurt me or anything, but I’ve been so dependent on him, we’ve lived together since I turned 18, I know nothing besides him. I’ve tried to leave him a couple weeks ago, but he begged me not to throw away the 5 years of us being together, and that if I loved him, I would stay.
I don’t want him to feel sad, and I don’t want him to feel embarrassed telling his friends and family I’ve left him. I don’t like anyone to be upset.
I just don’t now what to do.