Im 28m getting frustrated by my 28f girlfriend being lazy.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years we both work full time jobs and she has a toddler that’s not mine(not the issue at all I consider her my stepchild) I help her with my stepchild as much as I can but she holds most of the responsibility aswell. The other parent is in the child’s life 50% of the time.
But she has a TON of clothes, mine only make up of like 25% of all our clothes. And we constantly have dirty laundry piled in our bedroom and a couple other rooms. For pretty much our whole relationship I’ve been the one that tries to keep up with the washing and drying of our clothes and I do alot of the cooking and I do a lot of the dishes most of the entirety of our relationship unless I asked her to do something..
For the last 6 months-year I’ve been basically what feels like begging her to help me with these task around the house. We constantly have a full sink of dishes unless I just deal with it and do it myself or I have to ask her to do the dishes. And the same goes for laundry. I can never get ahead of any of it. I try to do a couple loads a day before and after work when I can but then some days I really just don’t want to because I feel like I’m only doing it by myself.
When I’ve brought it up in the past she would say she will try and start helping me and this and that so I will give it a couple days and not do much around the house to see if she will do these things, but it never gets done unless I ask for the help. I don’t want to constantly ask for help for these basic chores around the house and I don’t want to be the only one doing it.
She will get home from work or on her days off and she just sits on her phone all day and kinda ignores everything, she hates cooking she never wants to cook either like I’ve cooked pretty much 80% of our relationship.
She’s used the excuse in the past that she’s already stressed from taking care of her kid and all the responsibilities that come with it. And i try to help with what I can help with for her by cooking etc but sometimes I’m just super tired of doing it. I also try to be understanding of her being a mom and stuff but sometimes it feels like she’s just using it as an excuse too. A lot of the times she just sits on her phone too instead of being present with her kid.
This is literally all any of our fights are about tho. And lately when I try to talk about it bothering me and when I do she just gets really upset and says that’s she isn’t doing good enough and she will do better but she things never change. And it gets harder and harder to bring up anything that bothers me now because I constantly bring up how much it bothers me and when I do all I get is that she isn’t doing good enough and she beats herself up about it really bad and says she’s an awful girlfriend and like it makes me feel so awful and not even wanna keep asking for help or even bring up anything that’s bothering me because I feel like I’m just gonna make her feel like a awful person all the time and I’m sick of making her feel so shitty.
Sorry I know this is kinda all over the place
How do I go forward from this point? I feel like I’m being too harsh or my expectations are too high some days but also I feel like I’m not even asking for a lot.