Husband and I stopped speaking
I need advice. My husband and I have been together since high school, together nearly 30 years. We married in grad school. We used to be best friends, but over time, he began to basically stop responding about 3/4 of the time I’d talk or seem impatient for me to shut up. If I required a response, he’d take forever and act like it physically hurt him to reply.
He got mad the other day about a really simple question and stopped speaking to me. I tried for a week, but it came to a head where he gave me a look like he wished I would die. So, I just stopped talking first or really at all. I haven’t said hello, good bye, anything that wasn’t just bare minimum household information for a week.
We had sex (thats how he thinks he’s apologizing) and I went along with it but I still just didn’t talk. Here’s the thing- I just don’t know how to speak again. Like, it seems so pointless to even try that nothing will come out. It’s not the silent treatment on my part so much as I have lost the ability to even try.
Before this, we had really stopped doing stuff together, no dates in 20 years. He doesn’t hug, kiss or show physical affection outside of quick sex. He’s a good dad and provides for our family. (We are both working professionals. He makes more money and handles all the money, so I get grilled from time to time about what I spend it on.)
I don’t know how to start trying to have a real marriage or if I should. I can’t really support our kids and get a new place to live because while my job is a profession, it’s a field that is way underpaid.
TLDR: Husband and I are strangers. I’m lonely and stuck.