Weeks in bed like Ballerina Farm?
Anyone else feel like they cycle through highs and lows? For me it’s usually 3 weeks of feeling on top of all the chores, cooking all the meals, finishing work tasks as they arrive, and enjoying my free time and my hobbies. Then the crash will come, usually lasts longer like 4-6 weeks. Do the bare minimum at work, procrastinate tasks, order in most dinners and the ones I cook are two ingredient meals. Can barely move. Scroll for hours. Laundry and dishes barely get done. My husband and I have household chores split evenly but he will have to pick up some of my slack during this time.
Sometimes I feel almost high during my “up” weeks.. to the point where I experimented with not leaning in too much into the burst of energy and efficiency so as not to “crash” so hard or for so long afterwards. I honestly can’t tell if it helped at all so I’ll assume that it didn’t. It almost feels like my brain is programmed to go through these cycles and no matter how good or bad the life circumstances are at that moment, when the clock strikes 12, things start to shift to the next phase.
I’m here trying to get some perspective on if these cycles are normal or at least common in this crazy world where we’re expected do so much and (at least for our family) with no village.
I’ve read online anecdotal sources that say because of hormonal differences, men run on a “daily cycle” while women run on a “monthly cycle” which might partially explain why women are more likely to experience burnout. Idk how true this is but I haven’t had a menses in 2.5 years due to breastfeeding so I feel that wouldn’t necessarily apply in my case (even if it were true).
I remember from that infamous piece on Ballerina Farms (who, let’s face it, absolutely is a working mom) that there will be weeks at a time when she can’t get out of bed and it was the first time it occurred to me that maybe other women experience this too.
I work in healthcare and have had dedicated training in mental health in the past but work in a different clinical field now. All this to say, I’m no mental health expert but I do know more than the average person. I’ve been diagnosed with depression in the past while in a grueling grad school program. Prescribed SSRIs but took them for <6 weeks total. Never saw a therapist in my life for more than 1-2 sessions total. Basically just managed it on my own by telling myself it would get better when school ended. I was right and life’s much better now. But I can’t help but wonder if my symptoms(?) today might align with bipolar 2?
Obviously I’m not asking for medical advice but if other women can offer some perspective.. it might help contextualize things for me and motivate me to seek out an expert if in fact what I’m experiencing is not normal.
If however, other women are experiencing this… what are you doing to manage your low times and get back to functioning again more quickly?