Cant afford therapy anymore/ therapist retired.
M(24) for context up until about I believe a year or two ago I was in therapy. I had been in therapy probably since I was 13 years old and my first therapist that I had started with her name was D for short (female), and they also assigned a caseworker that would come to my house named C (male). D was my therapist for about almost 4 years until she got transferred then Carl became my therapist. I’ve always liked girl therapist because they understand how I’m feeling more intend to focus on me and C worked with my mom in the room a lot which kind of made it just seem like he kept telling me everything that my mom wanted to hear and even if me and my mom had problems that were her fault. I was the only person that was getting told how to fix anything. I basically was kind of treated like I was the problem so when he was getting transferred, I just asked for a new therapist. I didn’t want to continue with him. I then was given another female therapist whose name started with a K she was very cool, but it just felt like a lot to have to re-explain my whole life to anyone, and when I finally did get comfortable enough, they transferred her after roughly a year and a half. I was on the borderline of giving up therapy and they had told me that there was a chance that I could get D back. It all worked out and I ended up getting D back and she ended up being my therapist for the next seven years. It was such a special bond because she had watched me grow up an experience, most of my young adulthood into me becoming an adult, but she had also gotten to witness a lot of the shit that went on in my childhood that they didn’t know about. About two years ago,D retired as she had been a therapist for almost 30 years. I tried to start therapy again through the same program, but due to me having to start basically a new contract with someone I couldn’t use my current insurance and the price had almost tripled. I genuinely have some of the highest functioning depression probably outta evryone I’ve ever interacted with. It’s not something I try to let people know about. I’m the guy that tries to make everyone else feel better because I know how shitty it feels to feel like I do but honestly man this shits killing me bro and it feels like I have no one to talk to and I’m losing all my friends and my girlfriend is just so busy with everything as she runs her own business and just is wrapping up college finally with 2 Degrees. I just feel so lost man I need someone to talk to and I genuinely have no options. I don’t know if there’s any programs or anything like that for cheap therapy that I would be able to get help with, but I am just that an entire loss I live by myself, I was kicked out of the house when I was 17 and I’ve done well for myself as far as basically like staying alive and always keeping a roof over my own head, but there’s just so much more I want out of life. And it sucks that like I don’t have the help that I look at around and see everybody else does I just genuinely don’t know what to do. And it’s like even if I don’t get back into therapy, it feels like I can’t go chase my dreams because I don’t have a fallback or a support system that everyone else does around me. I just feel so trapped in my own body man.