My partner has torn me down to a shell of my former self.
I (M23) have been with my girlfriend (F34) for about 2 years. At first it was going very well, we were both coming out of bad relationships and she seemed perfect from what she told me. Now over the last two years I have drained my savings on someone who told me they were financially independent, I have lost friends because she needs to sleep (I have to stay and watch her kids,) and I feel so bad about myself after never having any issues with my self image besides being slightly overweight.
From the beginning until now I have had conversations and even told her I wanted to breakup and it always comes to me being abusive for wanting to abandon her and her kids. Simply I’m just not happy and she makes me feel like a terrible person for wanting to put myself first. Now I’m living with her because she couldn’t afford her place, I constantly struggle with my finances now that I’m supporting her and her children, and I can barely stand anything about myself to the point where I’m having trouble with intimacy. Prior to our relationship I was in a very good place financially, had my own apartment, around 17k in savings, and was very confident in myself.
Now I’m at this point where I want to leave, I’m unhappy and I know I’ll never have fulfillment here but Im terrified that nobody else would want me. Not to mention the fact that she has stated she would tell everyone I left her because she’s depressed. I’m just lost, I feel like this is now my only chance in life.
TL;DR: I (23M) have been with my girlfriend (34F) for 2 years, and the relationship has completely drained me emotionally, financially, and socially. I moved in to help support her and her kids after she couldn’t afford her place, but now I’m broke, isolated from friends, and struggling with my self-esteem and intimacy. Every time I try to leave, she accuses me of being abusive or abandoning her because of her depression. I know I’m unhappy and want out, but I’m scared no one else will want me and worried about how she’ll react or what she’ll tell people.