I stayed with her even after she stated multiple times she only cares about her feelings
How am I realizing now she really meant that? Why, after all this time, she would never listen to anything I'd say? Why continue to try and reassure her if it only makes her angrier and hurtful? I miss her. Despite her incapability to being empathetic she really went out of her way for me plenty of times. She gave herself to me. Almost. completely. Yet... why would you assume such awful things about me? Why attack me? Why would you never acknowledge the hurt and frustration you stirred within me?!
I have no one in this world I can share my feelings but with you... however you really went out your way to make me feel like an emotional burden... and you always commented on how you really like how emotionally aware I was... Did you ever see the irony? Of course not, because how I felt was never considered no matter how I try to express myself to you.
And now you have been wondering why I get so angry? Are you shocked by my behavior? Why I want to leave you all the time? Why I left you? I see why your relationships have failed. I seen your red flags from the start, yet you were so alluring. I couldn't help but get to know you. Now here I am. My heart hurts. I'm so angry. For some reason all of these random memories of us flood my mind. I can't sleep without waking up a few hours later hoping you'd sent me a text.
I've been spending my days wondering if I made the wrong decision. Maybe there was a better way to get through to you. I should have tried harder for you. Because I miss you so much despite the way you would get. But... "feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor." Farewell to you and your precious dogs.