Where do I fit in?
Hi everyone. I’m still relatively new to Reddit but thought I would come here for some advice and general support. My husband (32M) and I (30F) are in the beginning stages of IVF - finishing up testing and getting our treatment plan next week. Our situation for why we are moving forward with IVF is different than most, and because of that, I’m having a hard time relating to anyone else.
My husband carries the BRCA1 gene. Long story short, this gene carries a lot of cancer & death within his family, including the loss of his mother & aunt. We have decided to move forward with IVF to remove this gene from our family. Happy to answer more questions on that if you have them…
Here is where I am having a hard time relating.
We have never tried to conceive naturally. We are not infertile and we have never experienced the pain of infertility. However, I am still mourning not having the experience of being able to conceive naturally.
I want to be able to speak/relate to other women that have gone through IVF but I feel like a fraud. I haven’t experienced some of those more painful moments other women have, and while my experience with IVF is similar, I feel like my journey is still so different.
But on the other side, I have a hard time relating to other friends who were able to conceive naturally. They don’t truly grasp the experience of what it means to go through IVF - the appointments, the overwhelming amount of information, the money, the strain on relationships, the waiting, etc.
I guess I’m trying to figure out where I belong. It feels really isolating/lonely and I’m getting more scared (& hopeful) as we get closer to starting this journey.
Any advice? Suggestions?