u/Fit_Addition3654

My husband (34) has been acting very irrational and erratic. His thoughts seem all over the place, and accusatory. He texted me, “If you can’t show whom you are. Don’t live against.” I honestly don’t even know what that means, but it felt very out of character and unrelated to our conversation. He also told me over the phone that he’s “having a manic episode,” which caught me off guard because he’s never used that term before or spoken like this. My sister called him and said he sounded extremely drunk. Then he called my mom, and she said he sounded completely normal and not drunk at all. But about an hour later, he called me while I had my mom on speakerphone, and he sounded very drunk again. My mom was genuinely shocked because she said it was like talking to a completely different person when she talked to him soon before that.She had this look in her eyes like she couldn’t believe it (She has experienced him being drunk and out of it first hand because I’ve called her to help me with him) I know I probably shouldn’t try to make sense of every little thing. Could this all be related to alcohol? I just don’t understand what’s going on.

I (26) started to get concerned for my husband’s health (34) and started keeping a notes app on my phone of behaviors I was noticing from him. I didn’t want to believe it was alcohol related but I assume these behaviors were present while he was drinking even though he’d deny it.

- Appears extremely fatigued
- Moves very slowly, loss of coordination
- Slurred speech, doesn’t make sense at times
- Seem confused
- Appears to be foggy
- Passes out

(As well as physical changes) He’s put on a lot of weight but I noticed his stomach protruding out like he’s extremely bloated and looks uncomfortable. (I assumed it’s a beer belly?) His face and neck get really red and splotchy and his hands get shaky.

I asked my husband to go to the dr’s which he refused initially because he said he hates going and waited a bit before going because he said he “wanted to get healthy first.” My husband didn’t let me be present but I was able to call in on speaker phone. I went over my notes app with the Dr and brought up his drinking. And I felt like my husband quickly shot it down and said “that was in the past.” He was prescribed blood pressure medication because his blood pressure was high. I asked him to get his liver checked but it’s been silence from him. Am I being dramatic?

I’d say he’s been a heavy drinker for the 7 years of our relationship. He’s always said he can drink more cause he’s a bigger guy and he was passing out and hiding alcohol back then too. I wanted to believe he stopped drinking but there would be instances where he’d just seem out of it. I guess I feel lost, and don’t know what to do.

Update: I’ve asked him a week ago to go to the doctor’s and get his liver checked out. He said he needs some time to process that and that going is really difficult for him to do… I don’t even know what that means